Sean, the Sleeptalker
It's Monday night, I can't sleep, and it's been a whole lot of few Tuesdays since I last blogged, so I thought, "Hey, I'll go write something and schedule it for tomorrow morning."
So that's what we're doing.This whole not being able to fall asleep thing has me reflecting on the other night when I was woken up four separate times: twice by Bailey and twice by a flood of light.
The first flood came from the light randomly turning on in our bedroom. Now, this is not the first time this has happened. We're sleeping, and all of a sudden, the light just comes on in full blast and fills the room. This coupled with the fact that our TV turned itself on one time, and another time I felt a strong breeze blow by while standing in the middle of the house with no fans on, makes me think we probably have a ghost. Some of us (me) are handling the whole potential ghost thing better than others (Sean).
The second flood of light came from Sean searching the room with the flashlight on his phone, trying to find...his phone.
"What are you doing?"
"It'sround herr somewhurr."
The slur cleared it up for me: He was sleep-searching. I said, "Sean, your phone is in your hand, and you're asleep right now, so just go back to bed and stop trying to blind me." And he listened like a good sleepwalking husband does.
And that got me thinking. My husband is so good at talking in his sleep. If there was a hall of fame for sleeping (and I think there should be), Sean should be in it because that man says some wonderful things when he's dreaming.
And so, without further ado, the Top Three Sleeping Sean Quotes (in no particular order)...
"So, the flowers just froze?"
It's important to note the tone and hand gestures that accompanied this one. Read it again with sleepy-angry throw-my-hands-up-in-the-air HOW COULD MY FLOWERS HAVE FROZEN angst.
Some context: Sean and I were really into The Sims (Past tense. I don't still play it every day on my phone, and I certainly didn't sell all my Sims' furniture so I could buy toys for their dogs. Because I'm a grown-up.)
Anyway, when you're playing The Sims, and you want some cash (but don't want to be a cheater or sell all of your furniture), you can grow flowers and crops and stuff to make some extra money. I think this was back when flowers took, like, 24 hours to grow (which feels like an eternity in Sim-time), so Sean was pretty indignant when his crops froze over and he lost everything.
"Bailey wants a Blackhawks jersey, but there's no way we're buying it for him."
This one came at a great time. I'll set the scene: It's election night. (2016, not beautiful 2012 or 2008.) I'm watching in horror as America proves how much it hates women; Sean has fallen asleep and has apparently slipped into a simpler world where his biggest problem is that his dog wants to be a Blackhawks fan.
This one was wonderful comic relief. I promptly tweeted about it and then went back to engaging in #CNNandPANIC.
"My watch...is my watch. And it's better than yours."
I honestly can't give you any sort of context here because it was totally out of the blue. Sean's watch was pretty old at this point (though it is still a nice watch), and as far as I know, he wasn't involved in any playground drama. I'm not sure where this insult came from, but it was accompanied with a mic-drop-esque lighting up of the watch face, just to drive home how superior his watch was.
It is a nice watch.