The Backpack Girl
A few months ago, I was getting out of the car juggling my purse, laptop, a cup of coffee and a can of LaCroix when I did that dumb thing that is so dumb but we all do it: I took off my seatbelt with my LaCroix-hand and dumped the can all over the parking lot.
That is when I decided enough is enough, and I bought myself this bad boy:
I present to you a backpack/crossbody crossover that is large enough to hold a laptop, leaving your hands free to carry beverages to and from the car.
Since then, I have found myself on a magnificent journey unhindered by only having two hands and a thirst for basic bitch beverages. I have also discovered something: Wearing a backpack will change you. And so, I present to you…
The Various Stages of Becoming a Backpack Girl
Stage 1: Becoming Felicity
Ever since I watched Felicity (all the way through…twice), I’ve wanted a leather backpack, and dammit, your girl made it. Felicity vibes all up in this bitch. When I first got this backpack, I was walking around imagining my long-ass curls bouncing behind me as I strut the city in an “I’m scared of New York but also excited about this new adventure I’m on. Oh no, I’m going to be late to my shift at Dean & Deluca” way. I had “NEWWWWWW VER-SION OF YOU. I NEED A NEW. VER-SION OF MEEEEEE.” all up in my brain business 24/7. I was contemplating a dramatic haircut where I’d reinvent myself and get the courage to tell Ben to STOP. FREAKING. MUMBLING.
Can you become? Can you become? A new version of youuuuu? Turns out, yes, I could.
Stage 2: Office Hero
The Starbucks that is closest to my office is extremely difficult to get in and out of. You pretty much have to hold up traffic to get in the drive-through lane, and then you risk getting side-swiped on your way out. The coffee is hit or miss, but there’s a barista who ALWAYS tells me my outfit is “on point,” and he also throws in a fierce little snap, and I love him.
Anyway, during stage 2 of my backpack journey, I became obsessed with texting people, “Yo, at the ‘bucks. Want anything?” because I was SO EXCITED to have two free hands. A couple times I ended up with too many yeses and had to make Sean help me carry things in, BUT it would have taken far more trips if I didn’t have a backpack.
Side note, but also kind of related since we’re talking about office heroism: I had a dream recently that I went out and bought mints (What’s that about? I’m a gum girl.), and I became a total mint pusher. I was walking around the office, offering everyone mints. Even in my dream, I could tell no one was interested, but I was just so excited to be Girl With Mints. “Hey, don’t sleep on the mints. Altoids. Want one? You sure? They’re the kind that make your mouth really cold and then it’s super painful when you drink water. The good stuff.”
Anyway, the Office Hero stage did not last long because, while my hands-free prowess was limitless, my bank account was not.
Stage 3: Bad Bitch
I’m currently in stage 3 where I don’t give a hoot about anything. It’s not Friday, but I’m wearing jeans to work. I’m broke as hell, but swagger is free. I bought a dress without trying it on. It wouldn’t go past my hips, so I cut it into a top. I’m on to larger tires at the gym letting the backpack rage fuel my flips. I’m very behind on A Million Little Things, This Is Us and Survivor and I. don’t. care. I’m not sure how to properly format television titles, but instead of googling it (which would be simple), I’m just forging ahead because I. don’t. caaare.
Can’t wait to see what my future as Backpack Girl holds.