Bamboozled by Aeropostale

About a month and a half ago, I was served an Aeropostale ad on Facebook. I have not shopped at Aeropostale in years — potentially even decades — but this ad caught my eye because it was for a BOGO denim sale. Buy. One. Get. One. Free. Denim.

I am wearing a lot more denim lately because COVID did one thing right in creating a more relaxed dress code at work. As such, I am always on the hunt for my next pair of jeans. Pair that with summer right around the corner, AKA jort season, and this sale was simply… *chef’s kiss*

Or so I thought.

I ended up picking out a pair of jeans and a pair of denim shorts. My total was around $60. I was STOKED when they arrived, only to discover that Aeropostale clothing is apparently not made for people like me. The jeans fit super weird. They were loose in some spots, tight in others, and they were the wrong kind of crop (a “where’s the flood” crop, if you will). The shorts wouldn’t even come up past my thighs.

So I began the return process. 

Fun fact! Did you know that if you purchase something using PayPal, sometimes stores will only let you return it for store credit? Neither did I! I am a PayPal girl, so of course I used PayPal to check out.

Anyway, I decided to hit up Aeropostale at the outlet mall to do my exchange.

As I was walking in, a man behind me said, “Aeropostale still exists?” and I was like, “Yeah, apparently.” I went in and stood in line to confirm with the cashier that I was, in fact, stuck with store credit. The line took a little while because a teenage girl was throwing an absolute FIT over her mom not letting her get some jeans she wanted while her poor mom was just trying to check out and get TF out of the store. Eventually I got to the cashier.

Me: Hi! I am a nearly-30-year-old idiot who thought this children’s store might have clothing that will fit me. Can I return this stuff even though I paid with PayPal?
Her: LOL, no, you old, stupid hag! I will hold these items while you look for $60 worth of other shit that won’t fit you.

And so I began my journey to find $60 worth of Aeropostale items I liked. Turns out, that is VERY hard to do. Especially when shopping at the outlet mall. Every single thing in the store was on sale, and many things were even buy one, get two free. Yes, TWO. Two free items when you purchase one. 

It took me a while to find anything I wanted because everything was a crop top or a tank that said “vibes” or a cup with a unicorn riding a turtle on it. I finally found a top that I thought was cute, but it was only $8. Just $52 to go!

I ended up getting a bunch of underwear for Sean but still came up shy of my total. I told the cashier it was fine and I’d just eat the remaining $12, but she was like, “Oh wait, turns out I CAN give you cash! LOL” and gave me $12.

I’ve been bamboozled!

(WOW. My family and I quote this line a LOT, and all this time, we’ve been saying, “It’s a profit game.” I am feeling bamboozled all over again.)

Anyway, we used the cash to buy ice cream on our way home from the mall.

Oh, and the underwear was too small for Sean.