COVID-19 is here.

Sooo, people are really losing it right now. Like actually losing their minds. I can’t say I really blame them, what with Australia recently being on fire, and then Trump trying to start World War 3, and now the WHO declaring coronavirus a pandemic, but there are some people who seriously need to cool it.

My girl Tay Sway said it best:

People Who Need to Calm Down:

1. People who are mad at the media for doing their job.

“Oh, so what disaster is the LaMe StReAm MeDiA trying to get us freaked out about today?” 

If you’ve said this, shut up. (In fact, if you’ve ever called them the “lame stream media,” please take a seat.) 

These people are just trying to report the damn news, and wouldn’t you be mad if the stock market was plummeting and you had no idea why? Yes, you would, so shut up and take the news like a grown-ass adult OR completely unplug and escape it if you’re going to be such a baby about it. 

These are the same people who probably yell, “Get a job!” at protestors. Do you want people doing their jobs or not? 

2. People who are buying up all the toilet paper (why?), soap, hand sanitizer, masks, etc.

I like to keep hand sanitizer in my car for use after pumping gas, and I can’t find any anywhere right now, dammit. 

3. People who are making jokes about the coronavirus.

Some are funny and original, but others are overdone and/or crass. There’s a line.

4. People who have symptoms but continue to travel, engage with other people, etc.

If you’re sick, stay home. It’s really not that complicated.

5. People who share every article they see whether it’s from a reliable source or not.

Hint: If an article is riddled with typos, it’s probably not legit.

6. Mildred.

Not because of COVID, but just in general. She’s cray.

7. Me. I’m freAKING TF OUT ABOUT MY 401K.

I’ve been considering taking my contribution down to 0% until things turn around, but then I heard something this morning on Sean’s podcast I was pretending not to listen to because I’m vocal about hating podcasts about how everything is going to be ok, and you have to think of this situation the same way you would about a rollercoaster: It’s scary at the top, but it’s only unsafe if you get off before you’re supposed to. And this is EXACTLY WHY I DON’T RIDE ROLLERCOASTERS.

I’m getting ZITS, which is definitely from coronavirus stress, not from consuming a lot of Nerds.

8. The lady in front of me in line today who yelled at the cashier for being busy.

There was only one cashier, and a line started to form. The minute the cashier started speaking Spanish to a customer, the lady in front of me rolled her eyes and let out a big huff because HEAVEN FORBID WE’RE ACCOMMODATING TO PEOPLE WHO DON’T SPEAK ‘MERICAN. 

And then when the cashier said, “Sorry, everyone. I’ll be with you in a moment,” Lady in Front of Me yelled, “Well can’t you at least get another person up here to help?” and then turned to me like:

I think she was expecting this from me:

But instead she got this:

9. The guy who came into that same store demanding to speak to a manager because he couldn’t find “ANY BLUE WOVEN SHIRTS LIKE THE ONE I’M WEARING.”

That’s pretty much the whole story for that one.

Let’s all take a deep breath and chill. TF. out.