The WFH Gang

It's day 3. We're on our second case of LaCroix, I already ate all our good food, and the dogs are clearly tired of having us around all day.

Sean and I have been coworkers for a few years now, so working from home doesn't feel that different from being in the office together, but it's been an adjustment with the pets. When Carly and Alli first moved in, I imagined what it would be like to have them as human roomies, and now I think it's time to imagine the types of coworkers they would be.

Carly: The Piggybacker

She doesn't prepare for meetings. Instead she just waits for someone to say something that's well received and says, "To so-and-so's point," and then repeats what the original point-maker said using a different combination of words.

She's also hyperaware of all office parties containing food - even the ones she wasn't invited to. Homegirl is posted up at every birthday party singing along and just mumbles when the part of the song comes around where you have to say the person's name.

Alli: The Perfectionist

Alli's never met a neon sticky note she didn't love. She color-codes her notes and NEVER goes to a meeting without her doodle-happy planner. She also looks put-together every day, and you'll never see her wear the same outfit twice.

One time, some girl* tried to get into the building by walking in behind her because she forgot her keycard, and Alli made a point of making Some Girl go the front desk and report that she was missing her keycard and would need a "temp" to proceed upstairs. Effing narc.

Millie: The Busybody

If shit's hitting the fan, Millie already knew about it two weeks ago. She has a group text with other coworkers where she spills the tea. No one else in the group text really likes her, but they keep her around because she always seems to know everything before it happens. And also because they're a little scared of her. Let's be real.

Everyone hates that she's such a gossip, but no one will put her in line because they're worried she's unstable. (She is.)

Michelle: The Veteran

Michelle wears Birkenstocks to work every day even though it's against dress code. She's been with the company for 23 years, so it's not like anyone's going to do anything about it. She paid her house off in 11 years and is on schedule to retire at 50 because she's super frugal and doesn't care for "things."

Michelle makes her own wine in her bathtub at home and gives it out as gifts any time there's a special occasion. She's also constantly bringing in weird dishes she cooked up at home. She insists on everyone trying it even though no one really knows what it is or where it came from.

*It was me. This happened to me.