Liz Moody's Actually Delicious Detox

One year ago today, I was supposed to be on a plane to Chickasha, Oklahoma for work, but instead, Sean and I were sent home from the office to begin remote work life. For me, this marked the beginning of Shit Getting Real. Because we have officially hit the one-year mark, I had originally planned on spending this blog post documenting the ups and downs of COVID-19 over the past year, but that sounds absolutely exhausting.

So instead I’m going to talk about food.

If you don’t follow Liz Moody on Instagram, you should! She posts healthy (and easy) recipes all the time, and I have yet to dislike a single one of them. She is all about health through fulfillment rather than deprivation. To quote her directly, “Think of it as a ‘have your (protein packed, grain free) cake, and eat it, too’ approach to health.”

Last summer, I was the healthiest I had ever been. We were cooking all of our meals at home (because COVID) and getting 9+ hours of sleep each night because we were working from home (because COVID) and working out every single day (because Apple Watch). I was also drinking a gallon of water a day and sticking to a strict skincare routine. I felt amazing.

And then we had to go back to the office, and everything kind of fell apart.

Recently, I decided it was time for a reset, so I sought out Liz Moody. Enter: The Actually Delicious 10-Day Detox. It’s a 10-day meal/lifestyle plan meant to kick your health into high gear and help you get back on the right track. 

Before Modern Family declined into becoming absolutely terrible, there was an episode where Mitchell and Cam went on a juice fast. Mitchell outlined Cam’s six stages of dieting, and I’ve honestly never felt more seen.

Stage One: The Clean Sweep

In this scene, Cam hilariously purges their pantry, yelling, “POISON, POISON, POISON.” The Clean Sweep for me was really more of a grocery shopping bonanza because, again, Liz isn’t about deprivation. But her grocery list was definitely different than any list I’ve ever made, so I did have to drop some mulah in this stage. Even so, I was able to find everything I needed! And the things I couldn't find were easy enough to purchase online. (Although, I caution against purchasing spices on Amazon. My cardamom exploded in the mail and then all over me/the floor when I opened the package.)

Stage Two: Finger Pointing (AKA Blame the Spouse)

Sean basically went on a tour of our favorite restaurants while I was on my detox, which began to wear on me because I was soooo jealous. He also asked me to drive him to get ice cream, so I feel like I was justified in being angry at him for 10 days.

It didn’t help that day one of my detox was also Employee Appreciation Day, which meant CANDY. I grabbed the bag on my way in and took it directly to Sean so I wouldn’t be tempted. (I LOVE to treat myself.)

I also didn’t utilize my prep day like I should have, so I had to try to make my Cauliflower Apple Soup during my lunch break. Let’s just say that was no easy task. It didn’t help that people were working on the house next door, so I had to supervise Kane while he was in the yard. The “no bark” command doesn’t work as well outside. 

Stage Three: Draaaaaama

I didn’t really have an emotional/dramatic stage because all of my hunger/frustrations manifest as rage. As such, I probably spent more time dwelling in Stage Two than I should have. Lucky Sean.

Stage Four: A Rush of Epiphanies

We went to a friend’s house on Saturday, and there were tons of snacks and appetizers out on the table, and I didn’t even feel tempted to have a single one. On the way home, I told Sean, “I learned something tonight: I don’t need snacks!” which was a deadringer for Cam’s “I. Don’t. Need. Food!”

That is, of course, silly. Snacks are amazing and pretty much my third favorite meal (1. Brunch. 2. Drunk Pizza), but I enjoyed the brief moment of clarity.

Stage Five: Complete Shutdown

Day 7 was a breaking point. First, I took half of an avocado out of the freezer to add it to my smoothie, and it was one large solid mass. Definitely should have chopped it up before throwing it in there. As a result, I ended up with a very tart smoothie that was not filing at all. That was breakfast.

That evening I had to cook my lunch for the next few days, as well as my dinner. First, I was missing some ingredients and had to send Sean to the store, even though I had JUST come home from Publix. (I am a terrible shopper, even when I am spoon-fed a perfectly organized list.)

Also, the measurement markings have been completely wiped off our measuring spoons, which isn’t news, but it filled me with rage while I was trying to cook. 

“WHAT IS THIS? WHAT DOES THIS LOOK LIKE TO YOU? IS THIS A TEASPOON?”

Sean cowered and told me to line up the spoons to figure out which was which, but instead I just aggressively scooped spices not knowing how much I was actually adding to the pot. Then I used the wrong burner (because one of our burners is stuck on high and incapable of doing anything else. Isn’t that cute?) and burnt TF out of my food and had to start all over.

I was not strong enough to come back from that

It didn’t help that day 7 was also the day that Taco Bell brought potatoes back to the menu. Do you know how long I’ve waited for potato tacos to return to Taco Bell? And I couldn't even partake in Free Potato Taco Day!

Stage 6: Rage

I guess I kind of blended the last two stages.

Anyway, I can definitely say the detox made a difference for me. For one thing, I was never big on green smoothies or soup, but I now have an arsenal of easy-to-make, easy-to-clean-up, nutritious-and-delicious, filling recipes at my disposal. I also didn’t used to dry brush or take probiotics, but now I’ve gotten into the routine of doing both.

Sooo, yeah, that’s that. Welcome to the one-year anniversary of Shit Getting Real. Here’s hoping there’s no second anniversary.